I certainly showed musical talent and interest growing up. But since I was far away from a “Mozart-Wunderkind” and functioned well in other areas, it seemed to be more reasonable to make use of skills that were more likely a guarantee for a good and safe life. That’s what I thought.
And so I became a lawyer.
In truth I was not functioning well at all. As a teenager I developed all sorts of compulsive and isolating behavior, followed by severe depression until I was about 21 years old. I can hardly remember a day I actually enjoyed or thought positively about myself.
Unseen? Not really… but certainly well disguised.
During the 4 years I studied at the School of Creative Arts, Jeff and Julie Crabtree’s teaching about the creative mind conquered this disguise. It brought understanding, knowledge, awareness and personal testimony which enabled me to look at the parts of my personality and behavior I was afraid of and had chosen to deny.
Of course it was not all pleasant to be confronted with my fears and insecurities – again. But during my time there something significantly changed, and I truly understood and accepted that I was made in a certain way for a very good reason.
Fear, risk and failure are a part of a “creative life” – and a part of my life. And they are not an excuse to cut off and hide significant parts of my personality and gifting for a sense of fake security.